Some people find their passion at 5, some people find who they really are at 17. But at 17, I'm still searching for myself. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, to help people in need, and I thought I was good at trying to tell myself I wanted to be a doctor. I'm not and I don't want to. The more I know how hard it is to be a doctor, the consequences it takes to become one I mean you're dealing with people's lives, I don't think I will be ever ready for that. I want to help people, seeing them smiling at you after what you've done to them really warms your heart, but I just suddenly knew to be a doctor wasn't my passion. It turns out I am kinda good at planning money, I just realized it this past few months, as I was planning my money. I came from a small family with limited source income but still I want to travel the world, study abroad, living outside of my little world now. And I guess that makes me sort of good at planning money and I love it. Turns out accountant is not as bad as I thought and it hopefully suits me better, we'll see that later. Thing is, I really want to have so much time with my future kids. I want to see them grow, I want to see the boys on a robotic league, send my girls to some ballerina contest, I want to grow with them. And I know I wouldn't have that much time if I become a doctor. At least, I thought accountant has more free time. I want to bake cake and cookies on my free time, cook breakfast and dinner for my family. I want to be a great mother, that's another passion of mine.

But right now, I just want to be alone. I want to learn more about me, stuff I never realized about me before. Like, today I just found out that I really want my future boys to build an awesome robot, I want them to be so good at it and have a special room for it. It just strike to me as I watched my little cousins learn to build one with my uncle.

I know the future is still far away for me to have my own family, and I have to admit that I'm scared to know who is my future husband. How many kids we will have or do we live in Germany or Australia or any other countries that I never think about. I want it to be a mistery and let life figure that out for me, but sometimes I want to cheat and look just a little bit. If that's possible.

If you know the show how i met your mother, I'd be a mix of Lily and Robin. I want to travel the world, drive down the autobahn in my sexy car, alone at midnight enjoying the view of the sky, rent a small villa up on the mountain and see the world under me. But I also want to have a family, find my true love and have the time of my life with him every bits of our life. I want to be a part of someone else's life and actually be the one they think about every time they see the night sky and wish I was there with them or every people they meet they wish they're with me instead. And I'll be on the autobahn, driving past the speed limit on my way to France. Kidding. But, yeah, I am a hopeless romantic. The girl who will camp in her sleeping bag, on the corner of France street.

Sometimes, stuffs happened so you can learn something from it, you know. You learn from the mistake and grow up. Take better choices and move on with your life. Even though I chose to camp in my sleeping bag, but still this world has so much to learn about. What I'm saying is, to future me if you read this, you're never mature and wise enough for this world. There's just so many things for you to take and learn. And that's why being humble is always a better choice.

It's kind of rambling and got no point, but I got some points there.